At the Bow
My life in many ways is the same and yet it’s not. I’ve returned to a job that I stepped away from seven months ago. I struggled for a month before deciding to leave the job. At the time I thought I God was leading me to leave. Over months, He slowly revealed Himself to me as I asked him “Why did I have to leave a job I love?”. What I thought was the Holy Spirit telling me to go, was in fact a message to stay, to stand and to trust that God would work it out.
I tried to fix things myself.
There were periods during that season when I was confused and frustrated but I finally stopped wailing at God and started listening for Him. I made space during prayer to wait for Him to lead me, teach me and create something new in me. It was hard. It was humbling. It was needed.
We pray for what we want. God gives us what we need for our good and His glory. Look, I’ve been on this journey for 45 of my 63 years on this planet. The last 3 years have shown the most growth which has brought incredible peace. A peace that allows me to look at each day’s battles and praise God for them.
The job didn’t change. The church didn’t change. The people didn’t change. I stopped asking “Why?” and started listening for God’s direction. I’m not a perfect person. Each day I learn something new . Each day I hope to be a person that speaks words of kindness and truth, loves unconditionally and lives a life worthy of Christ’s sacrifice.
Inevitably, I’ll fail someone at some point in time because as I wrote, I am not a perfect person. Even though there are days when I think I nailed it. God manages to reveal where I can improve. Instead of trying to change a “train wreck waiting to happen”, I need to keep my focus squarely on the Lord, allowing Him to make the changes to my own heart. My desire is that those I encounter in life have the kind of peace I now experience daily.
That months-long, season taught me how to truly let go and let God. I walk through each day with a peace that surpasses all understanding. Like Rose, on the bow of the Titanic, I can fly because God is in control. He’s in control of every situation, even when other Christians are blatantly walking out of step, stirring pots and creating chaos. I just need to pray that they’ll have their “a hah” moment and let go of their own baggage so that they can soar.
Peace,
Betty
“And the peace of God, which suprasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
